I have spent nearly 30 years working in political activism. My graduate work in political psychology focused on identity, education and political involvement. I have worked from inside and outside movements. There is one thing I have seen consistently: Sexually empowered women are the most powerful force in the world. Most cultures around the world have a lot of stigma and shame they train into women. Making us ashamed of our bodies, our sexuality, our desires and our needs w

There is a new call to add a K for “kink” to the LGBTQ+ acronym. This call for more inclusion has highlighted a couple of issues in both the queer and kink communities. To be clear, I am against adding kink to the LGBTQ acronym and by extension, the groups which work on behalf of us queers for political rights. Failure to Know Our History The call is promoted by folks who believe the LGBTQ+ community should be inclusive of all groups with any form of alternative sexuality or

This weekend, the call for women (sic, originals post was problematically gendered) to post “me too” on their Facebook page to indicate they had been a victim of sexual harassment or rape. The idea behind this was to demonstrate how widespread these issues are. Fine. Lots of people posted “me too.” Even more people felt demoralized by the number of people they know who had experienced sexual harassment and assault. The problem is, there was no clear call to actions to change

It is Pride month. This year is particularly politically charged. There are fights about adding black and brown stripes to the Pride flag. There are articles on how to be an ally to queer and trans folks. There are fights about how to incorporate trans folks more visibly and inclusively into Pride. There are lots of articles this year about recognizing bi folks as part of the community. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted. Amidst all the talk of intersectionality, alli

In The Princess Bride one character keeps using the term “inconceivable.” Every time he says something is inconceivable the thing happens. Finally a second character says, “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Intersectionality is the mot de jure. It is trotted out on blogs, in interviews with activists, at poetry readings, online, and in Facebook rants. In BDSM and poly groups, group leaders proudly procliam “this is an intersectional group!” However, I a

In The Princess Bride one character keeps using the term “inconceivable.” Every time he says something is inconceivable the thing happens. Finally a second character says, “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Intersectionality is the mot de jure. It is trotted out on blogs, in interviews with activists, at poetry readings, online, and in Facebook rants. In BDSM and poly groups, group leaders proudly procliam “this is an intersectional group!” However, I a

Let’s talk about the idea of “religious freedom” and why it is absolutely imperative for all of us to be as queer and kinky as possible. Someone inside the current Putin/Bannon administration “leaked” the “religious freedom protection” document today. This document outlines the plans for stripping rights from millions of Americans. [I enclosed leaked in quotes because I think this is more of a trial balloon than an actual leak.] The wording released for the upcoming Executive

Let’s talk about the idea of “religious freedom” and why it is absolutely imperative for all of us to be as queer and kinky as possible. Someone inside the current Putin/Bannon administration “leaked” the “religious freedom protection” document today. This document outlines the plans for stripping rights from millions of Americans. [I enclosed leaked in quotes because I think this is more of a trial balloon than an actual leak.] The wording released for the upcoming Executive

Lately I feel like I am watching one of those suspense or horror films where the protagonist makes a mistake in the beginning (e.g., running over a grifter near lover’s lane and killing him) and then rather than take responsibility they try to cover up their crime. This, of course, leads to 90 minutes of increasingly bad decisions, increased danger for anyone with them, and lots and lots of unnecessary bloodshed. In this case, it is watching the cheeto. It has been confirmed

Lately I feel like I am watching one of those suspense or horror films where the protagonist makes a mistake in the beginning (e.g., running over a grifter near lover’s lane and killing him) and then rather than take responsibility they try to cover up their crime. This, of course, leads to 90 minutes of increasingly bad decisions, increased danger for anyone with them, and lots and lots of unnecessary bloodshed. In this case, it is watching the cheeto. It has been confirmed

I have never chosen a partner to make a political point. However, I live in a country where my body and my sexuality are constantly under attack by the government. So, even though my attraction and connection with someone is not driven by my politics, who I love is inherently political. I have been thinking a lot about the intersection of my love life with my political life lately. With the threat to women, LGBTQ folks, POC and others by the incoming administration, I feel a

I have never chosen a partner to make a political point. However, I live in a country where my body and my sexuality are constantly under attack by the government. So, even though my attraction and connection with someone is not driven by my politics, who I love is inherently political. I have been thinking a lot about the intersection of my love life with my political life lately. With the threat to women, LGBTQ folks, POC and others by the incoming administration, I feel a

Hey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are still racially segregated, separated by sexual orientation, and segregated by kink. I am not saying you have to be attracted or want to partner with people outside your circle for a romance, but we need a more unified community. We have to do this because we are all under attack. Don’t believe me? Think you there, as a white hetero Dom dude will

Hey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are still racially segregated, separated by sexual orientation, and segregated by kink. I am not saying you have to be attracted or want to partner with people outside your circle for a romance, but we need a more unified community. We have to do this because we are all under attack. Don’t believe me? Think you there, as a white hetero Dom dude will

The recent election of the racist cheeto has many folks in the kink community reeling. We are hurt and horrified by the hate harbored in by so many Americans. Many of us, LGBT, POC, women, poly folks and more are terrified about what an Insane Clown Posse administration could mean for our relationships and safety. People are wondering what we can do to protect ourselves and those we love for the possible onslaught to policies to harm us and the unleashing and legitimization o

The recent election of the racist cheeto has many folks in the kink community reeling. We are hurt and horrified by the hate harbored in by so many Americans. Many of us, LGBT, POC, women, poly folks and more are terrified about what an Insane Clown Posse administration could mean for our relationships and safety. People are wondering what we can do to protect ourselves and those we love for the possible onslaught to policies to harm us and the unleashing and legitimization o

The worst part of the aftermath of being raped was being told over and over again that I must report the rape. Every health professional saw told me how important it was that I report the incident to the police. When I would tell them I had decided not too, every single one of the people who were supposed to be there as my doctor launched into trying to guilt me into doing something I didn’t want to do. “If you don’t report, other women will be raped.” “You have to report or

The worst part of the aftermath of being raped was being told over and over again that I must report the rape. Every health professional saw told me how important it was that I report the incident to the police. When I would tell them I had decided not too, every single one of the people who were supposed to be there as my doctor launched into trying to guilt me into doing something I didn’t want to do. “If you don’t report, other women will be raped.” “You have to report or

I get naked in public… a lot. I do burlesque and performance art with a number of groups and much of it involves taking my clothes off. Recently, I was a participant in an event called Strip Vocabulary. It was at a bar in Sacramento, CA and part of Drunk Poetry. Drunk Poetry is a monthly event at this bar. It brings in poets for rounds on on-the-spot poetry writing and geared at a fun night out. It has dirty haikus, limericks, poetic gangsta rap and other such activities. Thi

I get naked in public… a lot. I do burlesque and performance art with a number of groups and much of it involves taking my clothes off. Recently, I was a participant in an event called Strip Vocabulary. It was at a bar in Sacramento, CA and part of Drunk Poetry. Drunk Poetry is a monthly event at this bar. It brings in poets for rounds on on-the-spot poetry writing and geared at a fun night out. It has dirty haikus, limericks, poetic gangsta rap and other such activities. Thi