I’m Tired. Can We Just Shut Up and Fuck?I’m feeling old and crotchety after a month of Pride. Maybe its because I have been doing Pride for more than three decades and it is not...
Fetlife Protest Isn’t Just a “Feminist Thing”For those of you unfamiliar with Fetlife, it is a social media site for kinky folks (kinky defined very broadly). Currently, there is a...
Free the Pussy, Free the WorldI have spent nearly 30 years working in political activism. My graduate work in political psychology focused on identity, education and...
Adding the K to “LGBTQ+” – NOThere is a new call to add a K for “kink” to the LGBTQ+ acronym. This call for more inclusion has highlighted a couple of issues in both...
Consent 201It’s great that vanilla America is finally discovering the idea of consent. Not our judges or politicians apparently, but a large number...
Beyond ” Me Too”This weekend, the call for women (sic, originals post was problematically gendered) to post “me too” on their Facebook page to indicate...
Olly Olly Oxen FreeWe come out today because Cleve designed and Gilbert sewed; Alvin danced And RuPaul doesn’t always wear pants. Leslie got the Stone Butch...
Pronoun Wars, Part IIThe other night I was at a poetry open mic billed as a “safe space” for the LGBTQAII community. As per the norm in such spaces, the host...
Sex and the ResistanceIt is Pride month. This year is particularly politically charged. There are fights about adding black and brown stripes to the Pride...
Landmines and PrideEveryone fucks up. It is the result of being human beings. Pride this year has presented one million more ways for us to screw up and...
Should Kink Assimilate?Kink, in many forms, is now more popular and more visible than ever. I knew we had gone mainstream when American Dad, Family Guy and...
Liminal ExistanceA friend of mine, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, just became an American citizen. Upon receiving her passport, she posted on Facebook...
Liminal ExistanceA friend of mine, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, just became an American citizen. Upon receiving her passport, she posted on Facebook...
Kinky ResistanceLet’s talk about the idea of “religious freedom” and why it is absolutely imperative for all of us to be as queer and kinky as possible....
Kinky ResistanceLet’s talk about the idea of “religious freedom” and why it is absolutely imperative for all of us to be as queer and kinky as possible....
Sex, Lies, and VideotapeLately I feel like I am watching one of those suspense or horror films where the protagonist makes a mistake in the beginning (e.g.,...
Sex, Lies, and VideotapeLately I feel like I am watching one of those suspense or horror films where the protagonist makes a mistake in the beginning (e.g.,...
Kinky Folks, We Better WorkHey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are...
Kinky Folks, We Better WorkHey my kinky peeps! I love you. I do. But, as a community, we have got some work to do. We are not inclusive as we should be. We are...
Orlando, June 2016I am sick about the news from Orlando this morning. I am sick of living in a country that allows churches and mosques and temples to...