10 Things EVERY Kinky Person Should TryWe all have our limits, be they soft or hard. Not everyone likes spanking. Not everyone enjoys rope. We are all loosely bound by our...
I’m Tired. Can We Just Shut Up and Fuck?I’m feeling old and crotchety after a month of Pride. Maybe its because I have been doing Pride for more than three decades and it is not...
Make Pride Queer AgainIt’s June, Pride Month. I have been out for three decades and have spent most of that time as a queer rights advocate. I have very mixed...
Fetlife Protest Isn’t Just a “Feminist Thing”For those of you unfamiliar with Fetlife, it is a social media site for kinky folks (kinky defined very broadly). Currently, there is a...
Adding the K to “LGBTQ+” – NOThere is a new call to add a K for “kink” to the LGBTQ+ acronym. This call for more inclusion has highlighted a couple of issues in both...
Switching It UpA couple of months ago I was performing with Bawdy Storytelling and had the great pleasure of hearing Race Bannon tell a story about the...
Consent 201It’s great that vanilla America is finally discovering the idea of consent. Not our judges or politicians apparently, but a large number...
Power of ApologiesI have been thinking a lot about apologies lately. Nationally, men have been issuing varying forms of apologies for sexually harassing...
The Problem with PassingI pass as a heterosexual cis-female and I hate that. I have always passed (well, more or less) regardless of what I wear, my hair,...
Get Out of Your Head!I want to address the apparently growing trend of discovering and practicing kink without connecting to actual humans you are not having...
Pronoun Wars, Part IIThe other night I was at a poetry open mic billed as a “safe space” for the LGBTQAII community. As per the norm in such spaces, the host...
Landmines and PrideEveryone fucks up. It is the result of being human beings. Pride this year has presented one million more ways for us to screw up and...
Bi PrideIt’s Pride month again. This is the second year pride comes when I have a male partner and we are exclusive. This makes pride events...
Should Kink Assimilate?Kink, in many forms, is now more popular and more visible than ever. I knew we had gone mainstream when American Dad, Family Guy and...
Agender – What does that mean?I find being agender weird. Most days, really about 98 percent of the time, I could care less about my gender. I am a feminist for...
Agender – What does that mean?I find being agender weird. Most days, really about 98 percent of the time, I could care less about my gender. I am a feminist for...
In Praise of “Just a Phase”We are living in an age where certainty is demanded. Any time someone changes their mind or expresses any level of uncertainty, people...
In Praise of “Just a Phase”We are living in an age where certainty is demanded. Any time someone changes their mind or expresses any level of uncertainty, people...
Liminal ExistanceA friend of mine, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, just became an American citizen. Upon receiving her passport, she posted on Facebook...
Liminal ExistanceA friend of mine, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, just became an American citizen. Upon receiving her passport, she posted on Facebook...